June 27, 2018
This journey has come into a time that I have known for months was coming. I have mentally prepared myself pretty well and I believe that preparation has me better equipped for this portion of my journey.
Monday my husband was taken into custody immediately following his sentencing hearing. Last summer he was involved in a situation that has placed him in prison. With a public defender and what could possibly mean five years. Signing a deal for twenty-four months was the best option for a first time offender with no experience in this legal system.
Self defense was not even a conversation, but I have to wonder how different that would be had the so called victim looked like him.
I will talk about that more at a later date because this Journal is supposed to be about my writing.
I mention my husband because even though it may not appear that way he is my biggest supporter. I say that because he doesn’t say much. He has given it to me raw and honest and was the first person to tell me to just do it. No encouraging filler statements from him. Just straight to the point. Now what am I supposed to do with that? I thought. However nothing really happened until I just did it.
“If you want to be a writer just write and be honest about what you write.” He says. “It ain’t hard just do it.” I kind of chuckle to myself now because I used to get mad at him for being what I called was so mean to such a novice as myself.
He’s a songwriter who never writes anything down so I would think Please. You don’t even write your songs down YOU can just do it. Everybody can’t do that.
When I started this Journal I set a goal of five hundred words and struggled at first. The more I write the easier it gets. The last couple of times I have been able to write five hundred words in one sitting-no problem.
I have to admit it is because I decided to just do it and I kept doing it.
I don’t know what I’m really going to say at first but I just start and the words come.
I don’t know what is inside of him that he can just come off the top of the head with what he wants to say, but I admire it and although writing these little pieces is a little different in a lot of ways it really isn’t.
Writing is such an art form to me and at first I really did not feel worthy. I just felt like it was something I enjoyed doing and although I had ideas I didn’t really know what I was going to do with them. The more I write the more it feels right and I cannot say that about many other aspects of my life.
The numbers say not many are paying attention. However in a sense I feel like I am speaking to someone. I don’t know who they are but I know they are out there so I will continue on. I feel like I am being led by some unforeseen force. [Let me not be disrespectful-I know it’s the Lord] I don’t know what’s next but I will continue because this gives me solace during this time.
I just hope and pray my husband is not too worried. He has reiterated so much to me over and over again that is just now sinking in. He has put me on this path with the guidance of the Lord so I will be okay. The next time we speak I will be sure to reassure him of this.