May 23, 2018
This writing journey is one of the best trips I have decided to take. I feel like I am traveling through time as writing and researching is leading me to read more. I wish I hadn’t taken so long to hop on this train. The other day I thought to myself what if I had done this ten years ago? But even though I made many attempts in years past I was not ready. Truth be told I wasn’t really ready this time in certain aspects, but there was something different inside that pushed me across that starting line.
Still. Time is an issue. These days especially I do not take it for granted. If I am not writing I am reading something or trying to learn something that will further ‘It is real’ as a whole. I have created a schedule for my writing, personal business, and other interests, and although I’m still getting used to it I’m not doing so bad. In mapping out this schedule I have found I am pretty good at breaking things down and organizing them into sections. In doing that I think I may have uncovered another talent. It came pretty easy for me, and I’d definitely like to try my hand at assisting someone else to do the same. That is the easy part. The hard part is actually making a commitment to stick with it. I can create it, but execution is a totally different ball game and if I am of any assistance to someone seeking that guidance the stage where they are expected to follow through is up to them. I learned quickly that my schedule will not always be set in stone. Life. It_is_real, and things happen [regularly] so I always have to be ready to switch it up if need be.
I learned a while ago to not discount any thoughts. No matter how small I jot it down as quickly as possible. Sometimes it triggers more thoughts and the flood gates open. Other times it’s something I can tuck away for later. Either way it is documented and that is satisfying.
It’s no mystery to those who have known me since I was a young girl that I’ve always had a lot to say. Growing up being a loud and rambunctious kid I received a lot of attention I wouldn’t dream of seeking now. My writing is helping me to slow down enough to find the words to be more thorough in what I say while eliminating concerns of attention. As a child I wanted everyone to hear me and thought it was a must that they did. Now. If you hear me cool. If not. Oh well.
I will end this journal entry on a risk of sounding extremely corny.
I am thankful I chose to step into this world. However the more I sit here in this place [reading, writing, exploring] I am getting quite comfortable. It’s starting to feel like home. It’s starting to feel like this place was created for me and it’s been sitting here all along waiting for me. It’s starting to feel like I didn’t choose it. It’s starting to feel like it chose me.